Creating a Routine After Losing a Pet
Grief is unpredictable. It comes in waves, often when we least expect it, making us feel unmoored. Losing a pet isn’t just about their absence— it’s also the loss of routine. So much of our daily live revolves around caring for them, from morning walks to bedtime cuddles. When that routine disappears, it can leave. gaping hole in our day.
It’s not about filling the void left behind. It’s about creating a container for your pain, something to hold you while you process it.
One way to regain a sense of stability is by recognizing when your grief feels most intense. Are mornings the hardest? Do certain times of the year bring back painful memories? Identifying these vulnerable moments allows you to prepare for them, giving you a better chance at managing the pain rather than feeling overwhelmed by it.
What Helped Me
For me, mornings were brutal. Jasper was always up early, ready for his walk (and, let’s be honest, breakfast). Without him, my mornings felt empty. At first, I tried to keep the routine— getting up and going on our walk— but it wasn’t the same. It felt forced, and instead of comfort, it just reminded me of what I’d lost.
I experimented with different morning rituals At one point, I made tea and read a book. That worked for a while, but eventually, I outgrew it. Then, I signed up for tennis lessons at 7:30 AM. It got me out of bed, gave me a reason to leave the house, and added just the right amount of socialization to my day. Plus, learning something new felt empowering— I was moving forward while still honoring my grief.
If you’re struggling to fill the gaps left by your pet’s absence, I highly recommend trying something new. Whether it’s a workout class, a creative hobby, or even just switching up your daily routine, finding an activity that engages your mind and body can bring a sense of purpose back into your days.
Building Your Personal Grief Toolkit
One of the kindest things you can do for yourself in grief is to gather a few go-to tools that help you feel more supported. Not everything will work every time— but having options gives you something to reach for when you’re overwhelmed or disconnected.
Think of it like building a grief toolkit— a mix of things that soothe, ground, and distract you when you need it most. Here are a few types of tools you might include:
Grounding habits: small actions that bring a sense of normalcy— like getting dressed, watering your plants, or stepping outside for a few minutes
Distractions that don’t drain you: comforting activities that give your mind something else to focus on, like coloring, watching a funny show, or baking
Natural mood shifters: anything that helps lift the emotional weight a little— music, movement, sunshine, laughter, even crying
Safe spaces: spots where you can fully exhale. That could be your favorite chair, a local trail, the beach, or a friend’s house where you don’t have to explain yourself
Your toolkit will probably evolve over time. Grief c’s okay. Grief changes, and your needs will too. What matters is knowing you have options, and that you’re allowed to reach for whatever helps you make it through the day.
Finding Stability in New Routines
Grief is chaotic, but creating a routine— however small— can bring a sense of structure when everything else feels out of control. The goal isn’t to move on or forget your pet; it’s to find ways to care for yourself while still carrying their memory with you.
Routines won’t take away the pain, but they can soften the edges. They offer you a path forward— a way to feel grounded, to feel human, and to keep going, one day at a time.