The Power of Trying Something New While Grieving
After losing my dog Jasper, my world felt painfully quiet. Every part of my day had revolved around him— his routines were my routines. And without them, I felt lost.
Mornings were especially hard. Jasper was an early riser, always ready to get outside, and honestly, I loved that about him. We started every day together. But once he was gone, that part of my life was missing too. I tried to hold onto the habit by walking the same route, but it didn’t bring peace— it just reminded me of what I’d lost.
Eventually, I realized I needed something new. Something that wasn’t tied to a memory. Something that could pull me forward, even a little.
So, I signed up for tennis lessons.
Starting Something Just for Me
The summer after I lost Jasper, I decided to leave my apartment in Connecticut (more on that, to come) and go to East Hampton to stay with family. I discovered Montauk Tennis, and joined. I hadn’t picked up a racket in years, but there was something comforting about being a total beginner again. I didn’t have to be good at it— I just had to show up.
But what surprised me most wasn’t just the sport—it was a community. I started meeting people, chatting between drills, laughing during lessons. And the best part? I didn’t have to explain anything. No one knew what I was going through unless I chose to share it. I could just be a person playing tennis— not someone in pain, not someone grieving.
It was a break from my story. A healthy distraction. And I needed that more than I realized.
Why New Hobbies Matter in Grief
When we’re grieving, it can be hard to imagine doing anything new. There’s guilt, exhaustion, and a sense that nothing could possibly bring joy again. But slowly introducing something unfamiliar—something that isn’t connected to your loss—can create space for healing. in surprising ways.
Trying something new can:
Interrupt emotional spirals by redirecting your energy
Give you a sense of progress when everything else feels stuck
Rebuild confidence in your ability to enjoy or engage with life again
Introduce new people or communities, even casual conversations can be grounding
Help rewire your routine without erasing your memories
It doesn’t have to be tennis. It could be learning to bake, painting, trying a new workout, joining a book club, or signing up for a class you’ve always been curious about. It’s less about the hobby itself, and more about reminding yourself that you’re still capable of feeling alive.
Distraction Isn’t a Bad Thing
There’s often pressure to “sit in your grief” all the time— but the truth is, distraction can be healing. We’re not meant to be in emotional pain 24/7. Stepping away from your grief doesn’t mean you’re forgetting your pet. It means you’re giving your nervous system a break.
For me, tennis became a powerful pause button. It helped me move my body, meet new people, and most importantly, it got me out of my own head. I didn’t realize how much I needed a break from my day-to-day until I had one.
You’re Allowed to Start Again
Grief changes you. But it doesn’t mean your life is over. Trying something new doesn’t mean moving on— it means making space for what’s next while still carrying what was.
Tennis didn’t cure my grief. Nothing will. But it gave me something that felt like momentum. And for the first time in a while, that felt like enough.
So if you’re feeling stuck, heavy, or unsure where to begin— try something new. Give yourself permission to explore, to be a beginner, to mess up and start again. There’s healing in that. There’s possibility in that.
And who knows— maybe it’s just wht you need right now.